That Beautiful Narcissistic Bitch.

Girls girls girls. We have this horrible disease. Not one woman can claim they don't have it or have never had it. It's called narcissism. We have this infatuation with our image that causes every girl to buy one of those cheap compact mirrors and stuff them in our already overstuffed purses. Then, we check our make-up constantly, making sure that our faces don't have a smudge out of place. Then, when we see another woman who looks pretty or takes a stab at your self esteem, we immediately use our ace. She's the bitch. We also love to take pictures of ourselves. It's actually really funny, because on my families mac, I have about 400 pictures of myself in different poses, taken at different (but all embarrassing) moments of my adolescent life, such as this one above, which I took during an episode of House. Did I mention I love House? But anyways, We women have this weird and extremely annoying self-esteem issue that take a patient and wise woman to overcome... Not. I have seen enough of Sex and The City, to know that even when we get older, we still have issues concerning our appearance and the appearance of people around us. Take this one episode. Carrie saw Big at the opera with Charlotte, and becomes obsessed with one-uping his new wife. Carrie thinks Big has traded up, and she signs up for a benefit the wife (I forget her name), is throwing. The wife ends up not showing, and by finding a grammatical error in a letter that the wife wrote her, Carrie overcomes the jealousy she feels towards her. Seriously? Finding a grammatical error made Carrie's day all better. So stupid. Sometimes, I think that it might be easier being a guy... But then I would have to wear gross clothes and smell like sweat and think it's cool.. discuss. 

House. Hottest Old Guy. Ever.

House. Possibly the best show ever. Today, I planned my entire day around catching the 3 hour block of this amazing TV show. If it hasn't won an Emmy, I would seriously be suprised. What's really sad is the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Hugh Laurie. And the hot blond guy. I just can't remember his name. I can't explain why I love this show, probably because I have no idea what the doctors are talking about. I usually like things I don't understand. Because it's cool to figure out. I guess. But my favorite character is Olivia Wilde who plays Remy "Thirteen" Hadley. When Kal Penn started to appear on the show, I became an avid fan, and soon started TiVoing (or trying) and I would stay up until almost 3 in the morning. The only thing I absolutely hate about the show: Wilson. What a wuss. I seriously think that Wilson leaving is for the best. And anyways, he's not as cute as House. I think the fact that the show has O.C alums and a Harold and Kumar alum is also amazing. Such a diverse group of people. I also love the story plots and the way House ALWAYS figures everything out. He just sits there, then bam. It hits him and he makes it seem so obvious, like everyone should have known. I'm watching it right now. And I'm in love.

Reading > Books > Good Books > Comedic Mysteries >The Spellman Files.

I am reader. Not like, "oh yea, I read about 3 books a month," try three books a week. I am constantly found with my nose in a book (this contributed to my "school lampost experience"- see next post). My favorite bookstore is Half-Price Books, a store that buys and resells books for a fraction of the cost. About 6 months ago, I was browsing the new release section, when I came upon the bright yellow spine. It read "CURSE OF THE SPELLMANS" and I immediately pulled the book out and read the first chapter. I was hilarious. The opening chapter was a conversation between the main character, Izzy Spellman, and her mother, Olivia Spellman. This family was all PI's (Private Investigators) and if you think your family is dysfunctional, wait until you read this book. There are no boundaries that these characters wont cross, no drink Izzy hasn't drunk, and no cop in the entire SanFran area that doesn't know the family. Izzy, the middle child, followed her brother in what her family called "Old Izzy", where she did everything a doting mother would fear. Her older brother David, was the perfect oldest son, and the only one in the family that didn't go into the buisness (sp?). Then, 15 years the Jr. of Izzy is Rae, the smart, witty, annoying younger daughter who makes the reader want to wring her neck. Unfortunately, That day, I picked up the 2nd book, not the first. The first one is titled "The Spellman Files" and is a great read just like the other two. I recommend these books to anyone who is going to be anywhere with nothing to do, like say, on jury duty, in the bathroom, watching someone play golf, or tennis, both very boring. Again, these books are hilarious. Read them BEFORE they become a major motion picture. Because then, you'll just be jumping on the bandwagon like all the other losers who didn't take my advice. Why be like that?
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MGMT- My Obsession.

Alright. Everybody in their life has had that one crush that becomes borderline creepy. I know it for a fact, becauuse every time I flip past the Disney Channel, I see thousands of obsessed girls screaming "Nick, Joe- I love you!" Or "marry me or I'll kill myself!!". Sometimes I wish they would do everyone the favor and go through with the threat. Anyways, MGMT is this band, consisting of 2 Weslayn graduates, Andrew VanWyngarden and Ben Goldwasser. The fact that I could spell those with out looking it up is creepy enough. But to toe the line on stalker, I became a fan of them on Facebook, set my computer background as Andrew VanWyngarden playing the guitar, and bought their entire album on iTunes. I fear I'm emulating the Jonas Groupies. The Jonas Groupies are thoses obsessed girls that go to every concert, own T-Shirts with the "JoBros" faces on them, and cry whenever they sing their sappy wannabe rock ballads and love songs. Gag me. But MGMT is different. There music is not some Disney Channel, cookie-cutter, music. It's interesting. They combine eightie's sound with this deadpan delivery that makes it so 20th century.

They're Called Honey Mustard Pretzels. Get it Right.

So today, I was grocery shopping at Randalls (most amazing store), and I started looking for pretzels, a must have at any party. (My party consists of me and my pretzels on the couch watching What I Like About You.) Anyways, I was looking for my favorite brand, Snyders, and I came upon Rold Gold Honey Mustard Pretzels, which at first, made me think of the time I ordered honey mustard chicken at Chik-Fil-A (sp?) and barfed on the three hour trip to Austin. Not fun. But, they were on sale for 2 for the price of 1 (I'm a sucker for a good deal), and I decided, what the hey. So, I biked home, my heart light, and singing the Sound of Music. No, not really. I actually almost got hit by a car and i had a flat tire. No joke. but, when I finally sat down and opened the bag right as Amanda Bynes and he WAY chubby cheeks appeared on screen, i knew this was a good omen. They tasted amazing. It was like, kissing that cute southern neighbor good. If you don't have one of those, you need them too. They're a staple in every adolescent girls life. Again, these little pretzels are great. Unfortunately, the fact that 10 of these little twists of goodness have about 150 calories make me think twice every time I stick one into my mouth. That's why I have my family hide them. My lack of self-control is so sad. Today, I ate and entire bag of them. Aside from sliced bread, these are probably the best invention. Ever. Enough said.